This whole divorce thing has plenty of shit attached to it that you don't so much think about at first glance....my favorite are the visitation shenanigans. Specifically the ex screwing with the schedule more often than not- being late, being early, ditching it altogether, or picking the kids up only to return them anywhere from ten minutes to two hours later- which yes, has happened on two memorable occasions.
Not having your kids half of the weekends of your life sucks. But even worse is knowing that the person you loathe more than anyone else in the world is seeing their faces instead. Especially on holidays.
I spent 12 years as a homemaker. Holidays were a Very Big Deal at our house. The whole family would come over, (one year I had 32 people for Thanksgiving dinner) We always had a ton of food and decorations (Three Christmas trees. Three. Full sized...need I say more?) and I put hours and hours into it.
To say things aren't the same anymore is an understatement, but we did have a good holiday this year, in spite of our changed circumstances.
There were some memorable bright spots. Like my son (my TEENAGED son) texting me from his dad's parents' house Christmas Eve to make sure I would call to read them "The Night Before Christmas"...as I have done every year since they were born. And the kids clustering around the speaker phone to chant it with me in unison, while telling me they loved me and missed me...sniff...
And the VCB's (large, amazing, **insert your superlative here**) family was just wonderful. Loving, supportive, fun. He wisely surrounded me with them until my kids came back. And he gave me some really cool shit too including these and this, and OMFG a whole new set of bedroom furniture, the nicest stuff I have ever had. (Side note of no consequence whatsoever: a king sized bed is really, really vast....)
So, Christmas.
We got a metric assload of snow the weekend before Christmas and Jackass ditched the kids for the first few days of his holiday visit so he could plow. I did enjoy making cookies and watching movies with the kids that weekend though- his loss; snow days with kids are great fun.
However, him skipping those days meant I had to literally do ALL of my Christmas shopping in three evenings, after work.
I slept a total of fifteen hours, in four days. This did not, clearly, make me my best self; but, incredibly, I DID finish the buying and wrapping and cleaning and cooking; after working nine hour days. (see also: "How to pull a holiday celebration completely out of your ass!")
Go, me!
The kids came home and we did the Christmas thing, and much merriment was made. The oldest got a bike and a (used) laptop and some stuff from the VCB that made his little heart go pitter-pat. The middle child is in total iPod nano love and actually figured out how to ride her electric scooter; while baby girl got not only the coveted Zhu-Zhu pets, an electric scooter of her very own, and also! a real! live! hamster!! (Which rears up on it's tiny back legs and hisses at us when we get near it. Like a snake. I think it may be possessed. Am slightly afraid. ahem. anyway....)
Jackass commenced dicking around with me on the visitation for New Year's almost immediately upon returning the kids, so, yeah. That's been....time consuming. sigh. And of course since he has no more child support reviews scheduled, he hasn't paid his support this month either. The man is nothing if not predictable, what can I say.
My health insurance through work is about to kick in, and none too soon. I have had a headache for three days that is ominously sinus-infection-like in nature and my eye sockets are throbbing. I am really glad it waited til after Christmas though. Sometimes it really is the little things you find yourself appreciating.
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