Three day weekend in progress.

So. Where were we? Oh yes. That court date I posted about earlier.

Yeah. Well. None of the three courts (J&DR, Circuit, General District) in our County knew what the hell I was calling about when I started trying to find the when/ where of the hearing with Giant Mortgage Company. My lawyer's office was closed. The Clerk of Court YELLED at me...nobody seemed to have any idea why my lawyer had insisted I be in court Friday. Long story short, I had a panic attack and puked by the side of the road and turned my ass around and came home. I hope my lawyer doesn't kill me.

So, that was fun.

Then later Friday I got a call from a very Friendly Policewoman from a neighboring county.

She wanted to make sure I hadn't committed a crime.

We chatted for a few minutes, I (somewhat amusedly, until I realized that she was serious) assured her I hadn't, in fact, committed said offense- or, you know, ANY offense..... she said she didn't THINK I had, but hey, you know, just doing her job, she was sorry to have to bother me, etc...

That was....surreal. And really, damn.... just...wow. I don't know what else to say about it.

Except what else can I expect on a day when Obama wins the Nobel Prize?

Maybe it was a full moon. Or something. Shrug.

Saturday was an improvement of sorts, in that it featured a sexy man, and less police involvement. The VCB and I took my kids to the local Italian Food Festival and then the local Folk Festival. We ran into some friends, had a nice dinner out, and generally did our best to enjoy what would have been a really nice day. If my kids had behaved like human beings. Which they did not. Ahem. My daughters seemed determined to be as annoying as possible. They talked talked talked talked talked talked talked talked talked incessantly, and whined and asked about forty thousand repetitive meaningless nonsensical questions and had to pee every fifteen minutes and needed a jacket and a drink of water and a funnel cake and THIS, and THAT and hung off me like the literal fruit of my loins that they are, and just generally behaved like asshats of every imaginable variation for about ten solid hours.

Man, I love my kids sometimes. Saturday, however, the flow of motherly love was less than effortless.

It was so extreme that VCB quite sensibly -and forgiveably- 'opted out' of time with my girls today; instead, he and the boy did some male bonding in front of his (excessively large) TV over NASCAR. Meanwhile I took it upon myself to tackle some household tasks I had been ignoring, er, procrastinating about. Like sorting the two years' worth of outgrown/ out of season clothes in the girls' room. And cleaning out my van, which still had remnants of August and September's road trips rattling around inside, and a fascinating (and frighteningly revealing!) assortment of fast-food specimens fossilizing slowly under the seats.

Whereas the word of the day Friday was "Surreal"; and Saturday was "OMGWILLYOUTWOPLEASEJUSTSHUTUPFORFIVEMINUTES???" today can be summed up as "Ewwww".

It was A Very Gross Day overall. There's nothing like an archeological expedition under your kids' bed and under your van's seats to make you feel like a really grungy and disgusting slob. I cannot believe we have not all died of the plague yet.

And now I have at least a dozen bags and boxes of outgrown kids' clothes, as well as at least that many boxes/ bags of books, toys, and household items that I need to get rid of. I sense a garage sale in my immediate future. Or a bonfire. Honestly, while I do indeed need the money, a garage sale really seems like a giant pain in the ass. Maybe some enterprising burglar will notice I have nicely packaged all my excess flotsam and jetsam and haul it all away?

I didn't think so either. Damnit.

So. Let's review:

I tried, but didn't make it to court. Wtf, me?

I didn't commit a crime. (again! That's 14,003 days in a row of law abiding citizenship. Give or take a few leap years.) Yay, me!

My kids were really fucking irritating.

Despite this, I resisted the overwhelming temptation to sell them for a nickel/trade them for a good spot in the portajohn line. High five, me!

I am a damn slob and so are my kids. But I cleaned! Go, us!

But also I am too lazy even to want to sell the evidence of my slovenliness. For money. So, wtf, me?

Tomorrow the three day weekend concludes, so I shall reserve judgement on the weekend for another 24 hours. Let's all keep our fingers crossed that I continue to be a productive member of society, shall we?