Saturday, July 18, 2009

Blah Blah Blah

Yesterday did not end significantly better than it started. 

Shoe shopping for Austin went like this:
Promise girls trip to pool after shoe procurement.
5 stores in 4 hours, pool closes in meantime, much whining and overall displeasurement from crowd. No acceptable shoes having been located, deep resigned sigh, go back to first store, buy shoes, wear shoes fifteen steps out of store, decide shoes don't really fit, return shoes, find that the size JUMBO shoes are unavailable except online, go home shoeless with all three kids mad at me and proceed to beat head against wall in utter frustration. 

THEN.

There was more unbloggability with someone who asked not to be featured here. I ended up needing a Xanax and two Tylenol PMs to get to sleep. I'm not gonna lie- I enjoyed the resulting coma quite a bit more than my usual toss-turn-toss-pee-check Twitter-curse-toss-turn-repeat routine. Fortunately (or unfortunately) my liver works just fine so it was only temporary in nature.

In any case I packed the kids up and took them over to the 'pool' up the road before lunch. Can I just say this place is the trailer park version of a water park? I am not so much the snob, peoples. I am on food stamps for crying out loud. I should not be judging anyone. But... this place really attracts some gems. I saw a tattoo that said "Just DO me" today. And a kid no older than 6 yelling for his mom (who was on her cell phone totally ignoring them) to come watch his (toddler) younger sibling for a minute so he could go play. An obese woman with a belly so droopy it totally obscured the fact that she was even wearing the bottom half of her STRING BIKINI (although the top half was tied somewhere around her navel so maybe she was confused.)  And a bald middle aged man with a couple of kids who had a unicorn tattooed on his shoulder. Did you read that last bit? A. UNICORN. ON. HIS. SHOULDER. 

Dude. Wow. Were you HIGH?? Going through your "Gay" phase?? (My friend Eliza astutely pointed out "maybe he used to be a woman?!" to which I replied, "if they took off the boobies and girly bits, surely the tattoo couldn't have been that hard to get rid of, right?") WTF?! A Unicorn?? Don't tattoo artists ever say. "Uh, Are you SURE about this, seriously???"

Being less cynical and judgemental, or perhaps merely less observant, than I, the kids grew bored with the pool fast. Like, they whined longer to go to the pool than they actually played. (Note to self: next time take booze. and a camera.) 

So. Plan B. Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince opened this week, and we are geeks for Harry. Some background-I read HP with my oldest as the books came out. We went to the release parties and were totally psyched about each new installment. I tortured Austin by insisting that I read them first, and I would sit there reading and gasping and laughing or crying and he would be all "WHAT?!" and "NO FAIR!" and "ARGH hurry up already Mom!!" (to be fair I usually took less than 24 hours at most, he didn't have to wait that long...heh.) I read them again with Autumn, and Jules is going to get her set of HP books this year. So anyway we were excited about the movie, and it was a huge treat. I was all melancholy wishing VCB was there but then came the moment....and I am kinda glad he didn't witness my shame. Because even though I KNEW Dumbledore was going to die, you know what? When Snape let loose with the "Avada Kevedra!" I couldn't help it. I cried anyway. You can just mail me my Dork Award. 






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