Brother, can you spare a...?

I know this isn't funny, but....it kinda IS. In a wretched, twisted way. I gotta give Jackass some props for the clever. Well, actually it was probably his stripper girlfriend, Candypants. Being that she's so "Intellegent" and all. Jackass certainly isn't witty enough to have come up with this one on his own.

As y'all know, Jackass hasn't paid me any child support in....forever. Couple months I guess. Anyway, I have been eBaying my hiney off to get the bills paid, selling anything I have, and working on what I am gonna do next.

This morning, early, I passed Jackass on the road. There was no doubt it was him. We live in a very rural area, and his truck is....distinctive. He was clearly leaving his girlfriend's house. I was headed away from my house. Because his big-ass truck is slightly higher than MY big-ass truck, I couldn't really see the people inside, but I didn't give a damn and went on by; only slightly relieved and surprised that he did not veer into my lane to try to kill me.

This afternoon my daughters came traipsing down the driveway all excited. They both had their little hands cupped full of....loose change.

"Look Mommy! Look what we found in the driveway!" they were ALL excited. I walked out to see what they were talking about.

At first I was puzzled. How would, like, three cups worth of loose change end up on the right side of my (LONG) driveway, out by the mailbox? I don't have a change collection in the car, and it was WAYYY too much to fit in a pocket. Plus, the kids swore it wasn't there this morning when they got ON the bus. Where did it come from? Why would that much change be all in one spot, right where a car would pull into the driveway off the road? 

Being the super genius that I am it dawned on me in about three seconds flat. Holy shit. Jackass! He and Candypants saw me leaving, drove over, and she poured my "child support" in the driveway, out the passenger door.

I guess she was out of ones. Must have been a slow weekend.