December 30, 2008

Don't expect much before 9am....

I am not a morning person. My children know and respect this as fact. When they were teeny we co-slept and I nursed. This is not because I am particularly "Earth Mother-y"; rather it was a testament to my sheer laziness. Why in the hell would I get out of bed to make a bottle at 2am when I could simply roll over and pull up my nightshirt? 

 

Nowadays my 12 year old son frequently gets up before me on a mission of pure mercy and starts a pot of coffee, knowing full well I cannot formulate a coherent thought without at least three cups. None of the kids is particularly bouncy before 8am either. The result is that each morning before my third cup has been ingested we will sometimes walk around the house bumping into walls, and each other, miserably growling unintelligible complaints that we are vertical. "Aaahhhgggrrrruuugg" "mmmmrrrppphhh" and the ever popular "uuuuuunnnngggggghhhhh" are common laments. Seriously y'all. It's like the House of the Living Dead. 

It matters not what time we retire, nor what time we rise. The first hour of the day is always sucktacular. We will find something to complain about, no matter what, in the morning, because DAMNIT, we are awake! That by its ownself is plenty of proof that life is unfair.

My son had a stroke of holiday genius and presented me with a bedside coffee pot. He promised it would change my life. I am less certain. I think if he had presented me with an IV stand of pure adrenaline, THAT might change my life. The coffee pot will surely help me motivate towards functionality however. That is bound to be an improvement.